Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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