Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
