Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I will pee on everything he values.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize