Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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