roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So vagazzling was a success
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
