You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We're too hungover to prance.
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