omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
