Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize