You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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