I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
