I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dick very happy bro
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