Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
