Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I cannot find my penis.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
