you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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