Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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