my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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