Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
