:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
