: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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