this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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