You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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