I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
