There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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