She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
