Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nicole vs. Life
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
