everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
