Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize