the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
