champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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