I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I looked at my own cervix.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
