that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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