If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize