idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
one might say we're banned from that church
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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