I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
