miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
