So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
