So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
