too bad you live with your parents still
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize