Kiss
Puke
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
