i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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