Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
