Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
