So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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