i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
