Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
