Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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