I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
