I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
