I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
