margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
