At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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