i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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