You just made me feel so damn special
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
