I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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