first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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